Becoming God Strong

There are dirty dishes piled in my sink. Crumbs and toys are scattered across my floors. I’m sure there’s a load of laundry still in the washer and I am tired.

Life is messy right now. I often find myself tested to the very end of my rope by the time the day comes to an end. It’s tough. I tell my husband that this is the hardest thing I have ever done…

I’ve been reading God Strong by Sara Horn. It’s one of the books on my list of books to read this year. (I’ll be sharing my list soon!) I have found so much encouragement in this book. Just to know that I’m not alone in the way that I’m feeling.

For so long, I have let my happiness depend on having my husband with me. It’s been nearly nine years. He has always been my rock, my comfort. Having him away like this has been a huge wake-up call. If I let my husband be my sole source of happiness, I will be miserable. I have to find my comfort in God when my husband cannot provide that for me.

One of the interesting tidbits of information that I have gleaned from the book was a suggestion to read a Psalm a day during deployment. I have decided to start doing this. Finding quiet time to study the Bible is difficult when you have young kids. It’s especially difficult for me now, but I can manage to read a Psalm a day.

I love that this book was written for military spouses of all kinds. As a Reserve wife, I can feel very alone in this deployment. Reading about what other women have been through and how I can put my faith and my trust in God during this time made me feel comforted.

This deployment is hitting me hard. With three kids under five I am completely spent. My exhaustion caught up with me earlier this month with a bout of mastitis. One whole day I spent completely off of my feet trying to recover. My family was there to help me, which is just a reminder to me that it is a blessing God moved us closer to my family before this deployment.

I am becoming God Strong. I am trying to teach my children to become God Strong. We are facing this beast called deployment together with help and grace from God. I still have my moments where all I want to do is find a dark corner and cry, but I don’t do it. I cannot turn my back on my children and I know God will provide what we need to make it through. I choose faith over my fears. I am God Strong.

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