The Pre-Deployment Phase

I had meant to talk about the pre-deployment phase before I wrote my Saying Goodbye post, but it completely slipped my mind. There are five stages of deployment.

A lot of people probably assume that the deployment begins when the soldier leaves for the deployment. That is definitely not the case. Emotions start rolling as soon as he gets those deployment orders. The emotions during pre-deployment range from high to low. It’s a big roller coaster.

For a long time, we thought my husband wasn’t actually going to have to leave the country. I was happy about that. A few months before the deployment, we found out that wasn’t the case. We started to make a long list of the things my husband needed to get done before he left (ugh). We often talked about how I would handle the deployment with the three kids. I told him my fears. He laughed.

The Yellow Ribbon Event really cemented the deployment in my mind.  I had anxiety in the days before the ceremony by waking up at night freaking out about the fact that my husband would soon be in a war zone. I was afraid he would miss our baby’s birth. I was worried about everything.

Military.com says that the pre-deployment phase can be characterized by honeymoon-like behavior all the way to severe arguments. For a long time I tried to be as nice as I could. I wouldn’t get upset about things that would normally set me off. I tried to cling to him as much as I could. We had some really good times just enjoying each other. We felt like time was running out and we wanted to make the most of it.

We had some spats here and there and the week before he left was the worst, especially the night before he left. I was so mad at him. I just wanted him to leave. These feelings are normal. It’s easier to let go of someone you’re angry than it is to let go of someone you’re being lovey-dovey with.

Pre-deployment sucks. The emotions start long before the soldier heads out the door. It’s agonizing, really. I kept thinking, “Can I take care of this place without him?” “How will I do this?” There’s doubt, there’s fear. I tried to turn my feelings over to God, but it wasn’t easy. In the end, though, it is best to put it in God’s hands. There’s not much about this deployment that we can control.