Failing as a Stay at Home Mom
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I hope everyone had a nice Memorial Day weekend! We usually spend Memorial Day a little differently. My husband likes to visit the grave of one of his friends who was killed in Iraq when they were both there back in 2003. We didn’t go this year. My husband is actually on orders right now, so we had a pretty uneventful day.
Things have been pretty quiet around the blog. I have tried to write posts, but the words just wouldn’t come. The first 14 weeks of my pregnancy were very difficult for me. I have never been so sick with a pregnancy. It was taking a toll on me mentally and physically. I was beginning to feel like a failure as a homemaker, wife, and stay at home mom. I am officially 16 weeks now, and I do feel better. I’m still very tired and I usually get nauseous every night, but I find myself wanting to do some of the old things I wanted to do.
One thing I have learned about myself is that I really do not want to be a farm girl! I love having chickens, but I love when my husband is the one taking care of them! I went out to tend the chickens the other day and got attacked by our rooster! He came after me, and I was dumb enough to wear shorts and flip flops, so I was dancing all around the chicken run and screaming my way out of there. Now I wear my husband’s boots. I also took a pretty bad fall the other day when all of our dogs got out and got into a fight with the neighborhood dogs. They were fighting right in my front yard with my kids around. Not fun.
My husband I keep talking about moving to a different state. I want to move for some reason. It’s not that I think moving will solve all of our problems and automatically make life better, but I long for a new place with new places to visit, new faces, new restaurants, a different house. I’m thankful to be close to my parents right now when I need the help, but one day I hope we can all move.
Most stay at home moms can agree that our lives revolve around our children, especially when we have young children. With my husband’s regular job and his job in the Army, I find myself alone with the kids a lot. As much as I love being a mom, I felt like there was a little piece missing. I was doing nothing, absolutely nothing, for myself. I think that combined with my morning sickness helped me feel very depressed. Over the weekend I decided to do a little something for myself. I actually bought some new makeup and I picked up a fiction book I thought looked interesting. I’m trying to take better care of my appearance and find a little time to do something I love. I haven’t read for fun much since becoming a mama. I’ve read a ton of non-fiction in hopes of learning things, but reading just for plain enjoyment? Not too much at all. I’m getting back into that. It’s truly my hobby.
I’ve tried to find a ton of things, things mostly related to homemaking. I’ve tried to find something to do with my time that would not only be relaxing, but could also provide some sort of value for my family. I’ve tried:
Sewing
Knitting
Jewelry Making
Painting (Art)
Baking
I learned I’m not any good at those things, and guess what? That’s ok! I’m going back to what I know I’m good at and what gives me enjoyment. I hope to instill a love for reading in my kids, but hey, if it’s not their thing, it’s not their thing. We do enjoy family story time, though. So many times I’ve felt like a failure because I am not good at things, but when I really think about it I realize God made us all different and for good reason. So what if I have to buy my baked goods because even the dog won’t eat my baking? (I do make a good, basic white bread, though!) I think the key is to stick to what you know you love. There’s nothing wrong with trying new things, but we shouldn’t get disappointed when we aren’t good at them.
Well, I know this is a rambling post. These are just the things I’ve had on my mind lately.
I so relate to this comment. However, is what I see correct with your other posts. Baby #7 then another post with Baby #3 in 2012? Failing at it, but still doing it? How do you survive, did you? I’m in the baby (14 mo), toddler stage (2.5) and pregnant with my third also married to an Army spouse, and seriously so deregulated and losing it constantly it’s not even funny. Praying for a change, while not feeling stuck in the current situation or so far and out of reach from the dreams He’s given me. Any advice would be well received :).
Hi, yes I now have seven kids! We still live the Army life, but life has actually gotten so much easier. You’re in the hardest stage with only littles. It’s rough, it’s draining, but it doesn’t last forever. Those kids get older, they get easier to care for, they start contributing to the home. My biggest piece of advice is to take it one day at a time. Take care of yourself and your hormones. Lean on God, He’ll get you through. Things get do get easier!